bonbonmini

baby growin' [+ breastfeeding] food...

Aside from a few minutes of heartburn once a week, I've never had any of the usual discomforts, complications or gained more or less than the recommended weight during either of my pregnancies. I believe owe 90% of this to my diet. Like everyone I have my personal struggles, but one thing that's always been easy for me (high school excepted) is eating a healthy diet complete with variety, tons of fruits, veggies, grains, nuts and water and always 80-90% organic, and free of preservatives, caffeine, and most packaged/processed foods.

I think any woman who is pre-baby, TTC, pregnant or postpartum can feel amazing, achieve an ideal weight and weather any transition beautifully just from eating right and being active. So during the last week I started snapping pictures of what I ate before it disappeared. Below is what I eat in a typical day while pregnant or nursing. When I'm not pregnant/nursing I eat the same, only at dinner I skip the seconds I pile on to make sure I gain enough/make enough milk.

Breakfast Part I [fresh-baked by someone else whole grain toast w/butter or cheese]:

Breakfast Part II [2 boiled eggs & a smoothie w/2-4 different fruits, yogurt & water]:

Mid-Morning Snacks [grapefruit, chopped fruit w/yogurt, nuts & cinnamon]:

Lunch [cooked sprouted lentils w/quinoa, lemon sea salt & olive oil]:

Afternoon Snacks [dried fruit & nuts w/no preservatives, red cabbage with homemade dressing]:

Dinner [pasta with garbanzo beans, zucchini, parmesan and Salmon fillet]:

Dessert [homemade whole wheat oatmeal raisin cookies]:

Water: [I drink 80 oz of water during the day & another 8-16 oz in the middle of the night]

sleeping beauty...

When we started Phase I of Dr. Gordon's sleep plan, Max was waking up three times during the night. Phase I involves a short nursing before returning to sleep. He quickly went down to two night awakenings, and then one, so I decided the time was right to move into Phase II. Phase II is the cuddle only/zero milk phase. Last night when Max woke up and began tossing and turning and crying, I tried my usual routine to comfort him: rubbing his back and saying "Wait until morning". Then I relaized it was morning! Turns out he'd slept continuously from 12am to 6:45am. He hasn't done that in over a year. So we started our day, but held off on the milk until he had played for a little while. Didn't want to give the impression that crying would lead to milk! I'm so proud of him for handling this so well.

why we love our warm milk diaper bag...

_{When Max was first born I thought I could get by without a diaper bag. I managed to get through the first couple of months without one, but there comes a time in every new parent's life when a big bag with lots of pockets, and pockets within pockets, is an absolute must. The Warm Milk Baby Hobo diaper bag was thoughtfully designed my momtrepreneur Patricia Peters and her talented (and adorable) clan.}

_{The most notable feature of the Baby Hobo is that one side of it contains a built-in super soft cresent shaped nursing pillow. Patricia first came up with the idea when she had to use a regular bag for support while nursing in a doctor's waiting room. When you're traveling or on the go with a nursing baby this is a huge plus. Before I had this bag, nursing in restaurants and on planes, etc was a challenge. It meant staring at a nice full plate without a free hand to eat. It meant backaches while holding a sleeping 12 pounder. The built-in pillow allows you to nurse as comfortably as you would at home.}

_{This bag also turned out to be a lifesaver on our first plane trip because it fits upright nicely under the seat in front of you for easy access. I like to use the changing pad to roll up diapers and a travel pouch of wipes. The generously sized strap is perfect for throwing over the stroller handle. We also love the pockets (I counted 20 total). There is plenty of space to neatly store toys, books, a change of clothes, burp cloths, snacks, bottles, tissues, sanitizer, wallet (*inhale*) keys, nipple cream, diaper cream, lip gloss, water, and of course...diapers and wipes. Once baby is old enough to nurse comfortably sitting up, the pillow can be removed to free up even more space. Max is now old enough to nurse sitting in my lap without the pillow, but we still bring it along for naps and the trips.}

_{Aside from the intuitive design and funtional pillow, I like the simple understated design. It doesn't scream diaper bag and it's certainly one that papa can carry too.}

so proud of the little man...

[Max's favorite new spot: the couch]

Last night was night 3 of Dr. Gordon's sleep plan, which we are following in effort to prevent cavities down the line and get a better night's rest (after 15 months I suppose we could all use that!) So far Max is adjusting beautifully. We are in Phase 1 which means he has a short nursing session upon each wakening and then goes back down awake. So far each time he squirms a bit before settling down to sleep within a few seconds. Already on the 2nd and 3rd night he woke only twice instead of three times. Technically these are big changes in his routine but he is handling it so gracefully. Instead of moving into Phase 2 tonight, we are going to try shortening the nursing sessions even more. Then we will move into Phase 2 which is where you replace nursing with a short cuddling session. We are so proud of you little man!

little bird, little bird sleep through the night...

[Elizabeth Mitchell's Little Bird, Little Bird. A video we discovered last night. It's an easy sing-a-long and Max loved it]

Last night we came a step (okay, half a step) closer to getting Max to sleep through the night. He woke up three times. The first wakening was a disaster of crying, rocking and eventually going to the computer to watch music videos with Papa (the only way besides nursing he can fall asleep). I did end up finding this great article by Dr. Jay Gordan Changing Sleep Patterns in the Family Bed. He lays out a 3 phase plan that looks something like this:

Phase I: baby wakes, pick up, cuddle & nurse for short time, put down awake, rub back and say comforting things

Phase II: baby wakes, pick up, cuddle, put down awake, rub back and say comforting things

Phase II: baby wakes, rub back and say comforting things

On the second wakening I followed Dr. Gordon's advice for phase I. To my complete amazement it worked. After a short feeding I broke suction and put him down awake. He fell asleep almost immediately. Score! The next wakening we gave him a bottle of milk. Doesn't help in the healthy teeth department, but Papa thought this might help him get used to a new routine. Again to my surprise he grabbed the bottle from my hand, drank a little, took it out and fell asleep. I get the feeling that he may be starting to get the idea. Dr. Gordon does point out that after a year of sleeping in the family bed, this is a securely attached child who can certainly handle the frustration of transitioning to a new sleep routine without becoming a deranged alcoholic serial killer. Okay, he doesn't mention anything about deranged alcoholic serial killers, but I'm pretty sure that's what he means.

redefining love and tooth decay...

[The smile we are sacrificing at night to preserve in the long run]

Last night as I sat rocking my half asleep fifteen month old in the glider at 4am I thought of you. I thought, I'm going to tell them about this as its happening, not 4 months down the line when its all sorted out. Normally I only write about things I have figured out. So here is something I absolutely have not figured out but I'm going to write about it anyway.

Max still nurses at night. A couple days ago, like the discovery of an overdue jury duty notice behind fridge, the issue of toddler tooth decay hit me like a freight car. Three months ago he had six teeth and had whittled his way down to 1 middle of the night nursing. It was then that I read something in New Basics about tooth decay in full term breast fed babies who continue to nurse multiple times in the night beyond one year. I vowed to get right on that. But somehow he is now 15 months, has eight teeth, and is nursing 3 times a night. Darn it.

The night before last as he writhed around at night searching for his warm milk, I stared at him helplessly. Except for those rare inconvenient moments on a subway platform, I'd never done this. That is, watching him cry without offering the breast. I rubbed his belly. He screamed. I said shhh. He screamed. I panicked. I offered him the breast. Okay, total mom fail.

Last night, I was determined that things would be different. As we snuggled up in the family bed, we had a sippy cup of warm water waiting. We explained to him how things would be different tonight and why. Several hours later, presumably at the end of a sleep cycle, he woke up searching. As I watched his long strong body writhe around I realized that he was no longer a tiny babe with a physiological need to eat at night. Although it's happened so fast and it is difficult to accept, he is becoming a little boy. As he continued to writhe, getting louder and louder it dawned on me that this wasn't a simple issue of dental hygeine or even scheduling.

I know the value of sacrificing short term pleasures for long term gain and of course I do it daily. It is not always a pleasant task to face but it's a vital one. As a mom (or in the words of suburbansnapshots "a grown-ass woman") it's my turn, my obligation to teach that to Max. As mom, I long to cradle him and give him everything. But I realize that a mother's love is not helpful in every form, in fact it might not even be love.

Years down the line I imagined him with rotting and prematurely extracted baby teeth, made fun of on the playground, wincing when he tries to eat carrots or worse... an undisciplined, spoiled, weak adult. Because of my need to coddle? Harsh thoughts, but all possible outcomes of not being taught to sacrifice the pleasure of comfort and familiarity for the benefit of presently invisible gain. So now, knowing what I know about tooth decay, I realize that every time I nurse him during the night I teach him self-indulgence and procrastination and I am in a sense enabling his own self-destruction. Yikes.

As we sat in the darkness and began the indefinite cycle of crying, groping for milk, drifting to sleep and crying again, trading him back and forth between the two of us, I looked at the clock and realized that this was also an issue of self-discipline and sacrifice for us. I remembered the dreaded sleep training tactic, the psychological arguments against it, and how just as night nursing our way to cavities is an easy way out, sleep training is also in many ways an easy way out. Both involve  a degree of "closing the door" and letting your child sort out the consequences. As time-consuming and confusing as it may be, I'd rather he undergo this transition in our arms knowing that we are here to support and experience it with him. In the moments of quiet I explained to him notions about tooth decay and personal sacrifice. I know that he understands a lot and for what he doesn't understand, I imagine that he at least draws some comfort from the fact that mom is trying to explain something.

In that middle-of-the-night-philosopher kind of way I struggled to make sense of what was happening. From a metaphysical perspective, I know that the arrival of teeth is an indicator of deeper developmental changes.Thoughts surfaced of Steiner's take on teeth representing the positioning of the soul on the physical body. So while he is still an infant, the baby teeth signal the fact that he is a developing person ready to absorb life's lessons, even some of the tougher ones.

So last night we basically stayed awake from 4am until the sun came up. Then we played a little and for the first time in many days I felt myself really present with him. We were connecting, communicating and laughing in a deeper way. An unexpected consequence of starting this new leg of our parent-child journey? I hope! When the sun came up he nursed a little and fell asleep. Not a perfect night I know, but it's a start.