bonbonmini

Postpartum Update I: the belly and beyond...

7 DAYS POSTPARTUM:

3 DAYS POSTPARTUM:                                  7 DAYS POSTPARTUM:

30 DAYS POSTPARTUM:

This previously promised post has been sitting in a state of uncertainty in my drafts for weeks. Then a reader reminded me yesterday (thank you reader, you are awesome!) and that gave me the confidence to just come out with it already. I wanted to talk about postpartum recovery and reconditioning but it turned out to be a much bigger topic than I'd imagined. Basically I have so much to say about it, and such a journey ahead it my own reconditioning, that I decided a youtube video series is the best way to go about it. But while I'm working on that I do want to post these photos and talk a little bit about what I did to manage after pains and flatten my tummy.

My after pains were as strong as my labor pains at the point when I began to consider an epidural. They say after pains are worse with second pregnancies and they are definitely right. The hospital offered me Percocet and Ibuprofen, which are the two pain meds discussed in this research so I turned them down, but there were two things that brought much needed and consistent relief. One was belly wrapping and the other was a (super hot) hot water bottle both of which I kept on my belly for all of my waking hours for the 5 days until the after pains subsided. I used a Belly Bandit to wrap my belly, however I would recommend the Cinch because the design includes pockets for heat packs that you can purchase separately, and it's designed to provide even and thereby more effective pressure. It's also fully adjustable so you don't have to purchase two sizes as you do with the Belly Bandit.

Belly wrapping had the added benefit of flattening my stomach within a matter of days. During my Max pregnancy I hardly wore my belly wrap, but I did notice that on the days I wore it my stomach would shrink noticeably and permanently but on the days I didn't wear it, it would stay the same size. This time around because of the intense after pains I wore it non-stop (except while sleeping) for the first 10 days and then more sporadically for another 2 weeks. As a result, by day 3 my stomach was flatter than it was on week 3 of my Max pregnancy.

Anyway all that said, I know that there is a lot more to postpartum recovery and reconditioning than a flat stomach or the numbers on my scale. There is an internal part (core muscle strength, pelvic floor muscles, flexibility, stamina, etc.) that I've learned is far more important than the external parts. But also in reality becoming a mother is not just a physical process, so reconditioning is also not just a physical one but a mental and spiritual transformation as well. A beautiful one, but difficult so it definitely deserves a youtube series. Plus I'm hoping it will help with the writer's block I've had lately!

Two big announcements...

1. Miniluu is finally open!!!

2. We're on our way to the hospital! Funny how things happen all at once, right?

P.S. If you have your eye on a tipi (aka a beautiufl glowing haven for your little one) you can find a plain one here and a decorated one here.

39 weeks [the calm before the storm]...

There comes a time at the end of a pregnancy when somehow amidst the chaos of last minute prep comes out of the blue an erie serenity. Even if your to-do list is only half finished, it's as if someone has said relax, I'll take care of everything.

You begin to feel strangely disconnected from everything around you, yet more present than you've ever been. It's as if you've suddenly become someone else, yet you feel more perfectly you than you've ever been.

The only thing I can think to compare it to is a particularly memorable ski trip in the rockies. It was the first time I boarded down from the very top of the mountain. Even at the brink of total physical exhaustion, I skipped dinner and drinks at the lodge in favor of an apple and wild lichen picked on an evening hike. I finished the night by soaking in steaming hot springs before plunging into an ice cold pool of water. When I emerged from the frigid water with steaming skin I remember staring up at the moon and feeling completely reborn.

Where there was worry, suddenly there was peace. Where there should've been exhaustion, I felt capable of anything. And in spite of all the things that had felt so important, for a moment at least, I just didn't give a damn.

That's how I've felt from the moment I woke up today. I remember the same feeling during my max pregnancy. It came just a few days before labor began.

I'm pretty sure it's the body's way of calming the mind and spirit in prep for labor because gosh...giving birth to a new person is a pretty big deal isn't it? Certainly the kind of thing that could overwhelm even the strongest minds.

So here we are at the very end when all of the questions meet. Is my house/relationship/bank account ready for a new baby? Will my mom get here in time to watch Max when I go into labor? Will my labor be induced or will it begin naturally? Will it be a vaginal birth or a surgical one? An attempt at a natural birth met with the relief of an epidural or the relief of deep meditation? Who is this soul I've been carrying for the last 39 weeks (or really all my life)? And least important but most hotly debated, will it be a boy or girl? 

So last week if you saw a very pregnant very stressed lady with double pink eye, glasses on and hair in her face, coughing her way through the NY subway system with a Container Store bag as big as herself or huge boat bags full of veggies...that was me. And this week if you saw a very pregnant lady sitting on the L train, staring quietly at her curly headed toddler and looking oddly at peace...that was me too.

P.S. 21 weeks later can you believe my favorite dress still fits?

Oh, I almost forgot the Final Stats:

Week: 39.5

Baby: Baby loves this song and mango juice. Baby will definitely pass the hearing test because every time Max throws a toy on the floor baby jumps. 

Currently craving: fruit juice, fruit smoothies, fresh fruit, and fruit

Weight: 148 lbs (32 pounds overall)

Symptoms: Morning sickness and 1st trimester strength fatigue has slipped back in. Hip and pelvic bones are getting lots of separation aches and pains. Braxton Hicks are back to several times per hour.

Birthing Preparation: I always fall asleep during my meditations but she says that's perfectly fine and that it will still be effective. To get baby out on time: walking all over town, evening primrose oil supplements, flax oil in smoothies, taking stairs every chance I get, and you know...other stuff (*winks*)

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing baby's face. Telling everyone who said it would be a boy I told you so!

Hospital bag [revamped]...

So here's a breakdown of what I'll be bringing to the hospital this time around. It's pretty simple and everything (labor stuff, postpartum, baby stuff) fits into one small suitcase. There are a few changes from my Max bag (and one particularly hilarious one) but overall it's the same. 

For labor

Off the list:

Pillows from home These ended up not being used at all. The hospital of course had plenty. Maybe they weren't as "fluffy and soft" as my home ones, but who cares? There was too much going on for me to notice.

Swim trunks for the mister to join me in the tub or shower A tub might've been nice but my hospital didn't have one and I ended up not being interested in a hot shower.

Water & hard candies This sounded soothing and spa-like but during early labor, I instinctively avoided food and water and kept my stomach empty (digesting while laboring is kind of like digesting while sleeping...simultaneously the body can't do either well). And during active labor I probably would've been more likely to do my taxes than eat something.

Throw Away Slippers Instead of buying slippers to toss out later, this time I'll just wear uggs or if it's too warm, slip on flats. As long they're easy to put on and take off getting in and out of bed they'll be fine. And since they are street shoes anyway (and we leave our street shoes at the door) I won't worry about tracking hospital germs around the house.

On the list:

1. Trash bag & towel to put on the car seat in case my water breaks in the car

2. CDs with relaxing music for the stereo system in the labor room. This was amazingly helpful in creating a relaxing environment for me and others in the room the first time around (Plus it's become a lasting treasure because Max still responds very emotionally to his birthing music.)

3. NEW  Headphones for hypnosis labor tracks. I plan to alternate music played out loud with meditation tracks on headphones. I think the tracks will be helpful during the early stages and on the way to the hospital.

4. NEW  Coconut lip balm because it reminds me of childhood summers at the beach which always ends up being a huge part of my visualization

5. NEW  Solid perfume from Auric Blends with my favorite scent to apply to wrists during labor. More aroma therapy that goes back many years as my favorite calming scent.

Things I'll want to have that the hospital will provide:

Birthing ball & stereo system

For postpartum

Off the list

Parenting books (That's right, plural) I actually thought I was going to read about, not just newborn care, but parenting in the first 48 hours of having a newborn. Ha.

On the list

1. Coconut water and fruit to rehydrate and snack on postpartum. Around 16 hours after delivery I wasn't ready to order sushi but I did have a small appetite. I snacked on avocados, oranges, lara bars, and vegan jerky (which is packed with iron, protein and calcium). I loved having my own familiar snacks, so I'll be bringing the same selection this time around.

2. Comfy clothes (PJs with easy nursing access, and for going home 2 dresses to choose from, leggings, and some layering pieces)

3. Nursing bras I use these instead since they are comfy for sleeping and typical nursing bras have thick high straps that always seem to sneak out of even the most modest necklines.

4. First Years Organic Lanolin-free Nipple Butter made from organic edible ingredients. I used this following every feeding the first time around and it helped noticeably with the pain. You can get it here.

5. Toiletries All of the usual, but I do want to mention stretch mark oil (it's good to apply it for at least 2 weeks following pregnancy as the skin recuperates), and prenatals (fortify your recovery and should be continued as long as you nurse)

6. Chlorine-free maxis At first I'm sure I'll use what the hospital gives me, but I want to switch to the chlorine/dioxin free ones as soon as possible.

7. Last but not least: purse, phone, camera, chargers, paperwork, etc.

[Wool & cotton baby basics by Engel]

For Baby

1. Organic cotton basics for going home (a onesie, a kimono wrap top & pants, and an extra going home outfit just in case)

2. A light wool fleece bunting & matching pilot cap for the trip home

3. Organic cotton no-scratch mitts

4. Natural muslin cloth (great for nursing, swaddling or as a light blanket)

5. Organic cotton wash/wipe cloths

6. Wool fleece blanket to cover up in the car seat

7. A few chlorine-free disposable diapers

For Max

I also have a bag packed for my mini Max with snacks he loves, coloring books, sticker books, clothes, pajamas etc. in case I go into labor before my mom is here to help and our plan to have a friend come over to watch him falls through, in which case we'd have to drop him off to hang out with friends. My mom is coming Thursday morning, so hopefully we won't need it, but the goodies in there will still be a fun distraction once the baby comes.

Standing up straight...

I think one of life's little known secrets is that correct posture, which actually starts in your pelvis and not yours shoulders, can significantly tone your stomach, butt, back, shoulders and even arms. I can't tell you how many weeks and months I've skipped formal exercise in lieu of this trick, and it works. Posture is an issue for everyone, male, female, pregnant or not, but the effects of bad posture are especially rapid and noticeable during pregnancy in the form of lower back pain, a slowed walking pace and a slow or incomplete recovery of your stomach muscles postpartum.

The picture on the left:

In this picture I'm letting gravity take over. This is what women tend to do, pregnant or not, and a lot of men do it too. It's is the most automatic way to stand, walk and sit because it makes friends with gravity and requires less muscle work. Over time it weakens your abs, glutes and back muscles. It also wears out the cartilage between vertebrae, which in curving are being compacted (i.e. mercilessly squished). And I'm pretty sure that for pregnant women it can contribute to the development of stretch marks because it puts more pressure on your skin.

The picture on the right:

This is not only good posture, it's a simple way for anyone to build core strength and muscle tone all over just by doing every day activities. It also helps you bounce back faster after baby because it continuously engages your abs. Since you're carrying a heavy load in there it makes them work extra hard. Basically it's like doing crunches every day of your pregnancy, and the same is true for people who are not expecting.

Contrary to what mom told you, good posture doesn't begin in your shoulders. It begins with pulling your pelvis forward instead of tilting it back. This automatically contracts your abs and lats which in turn supports the baby and keeps your spine in an ideal, straight position. It also automatically contracts your glutes which over time gives you that nice "yoga bum" without doing yoga. I had to keep my arms up to show you the spinal alignment, so I'm not showing the shoulder and chest positioning here, but your shoulders should be pulled back and down, and your chest pushed slightly up and out-- a position that is easier to maintain when you have correct lower body alignment. 

With this posture, you will notice that it takes more leg muscle work to bring your legs forward as you walk and this helps build your quadriceps and hamstrings. It also keeps your hips from giggling around as you walk. As a cherry on top, holding your upper arms firmly to your sides as you walk, instead of letting them dangle, will tone your biceps and triceps.

Try to remember to hold this posture in everything you do: walking, sitting, and standing still. At points I even set my phone to give hourly reminders to check my posture. I usually remember while walking but I sometimes forget while standing and sitting. You may feel a bit robotic at first, but people will be watching and thinking wow he/she has great posture, must be a dancer, etc.

P.S. We still have a week to go before baby, but between now and then don't scratch your head if there are pauses on the blog. I promise not to leave you hanging! I will try to post a "We're on the way to the hospital!" post when the time comes...

nesting, nesting...

The phrase "nesting instinct" brings to mind sweet images of a bird collecting goose down to pad a nest for springtime hatchlings, or a calm pregnant woman humming lullabies while folding blankets.  

For me it looks a little different. I'm someone who spot cleans luggage and wipes down electrical cords to remove smudges when I'm not nesting, so you can imagine the pathological madness max and the mister are facing at the moment. To credit my sanity though, after 4 months of bedrest (aka very little housework) there's a lot of work to be done.

Every closet, cabinet, drawer, bag and box in our little loft has been emptied, cleaned, sorted, and reorganized. No room or belonging has been spared.

Non-working pens have been discarded, 10 pounds of veggies have been chopped for quick post-baby meals, 24,760 loads of laundry have been done, jewelry has been de-tarnished (using this non-toxic trick), pennies have been collected and cashed in, and that little crack in the floor board next to my kitchen sink has been scrubbed...with a toothbrush. Once at 3am when everyone was asleep I even snuck out of bed to sort our utensil drawers.

Whoa is the poor man who tries to get me to go to bed before 3am or the telemarketer who interrupts my sweater defuzzing with a phone survey!

[Note the plastic containers after I just talked about that here. Didn't have enough glass ones for this. Yet another thing to add to my shopping/to do list!]

My guy gets constant requests, "Sweetie can you hang this shelf and take this bag/box/furniture to the trash room please?" But actually it's more like, Screw this in that wall and get that thing out of my house!

And poor Max has to listen to a soundtrack of no/stop/don't all day as family heirlooms and meticulously sorted piles of stuff are sitting everywhere just begging to be "explored".

On top of it all I've decided now's the time for home repairs, switching art around and basically rearranging our entire apartment. I know what your thinking and I think it too. I've lost it. But the urge comes from deep inside and it's unstoppable! My poor guy has been so helpful plowing through my never-ending list of errands and tasks, but I think his head is pretty much spinning. 

Still wouldn't you know, it wasn't until I'd prewashed and rewashed all of those tiny onesies and newborn socks, that I started to feel ready for this baby? Also (not sure why) but organizing the bookshelves by color helped enormously...